Of Beaches, IceCream, Mermaids and Turtles
by Grell The Leper
Summary: Ronald insists the Reapers take a trip to the beach and madness ensues. Bitta romance, bitta friendship, mainly mental. Rated T for Grelliam being Grelliam. sn inspired one-shot.


_Lately, it's been ridiculously sunny where I live, and in Ireland, this is a very rare occasion. So, even though the recent sun inspired this little one-shot, I also think it did something funny to my brain, because this was just mental. Like, seriously. I wasn't really sure what to put this as, it's mainly humour, with some romance, friendship, and just general beachly adventures. Some glaringly obvious Grelliam, (Every great fanfic needs some Grelliam), and the tiniest hint of RonaldxUndertaker if you squint, which was entirely an accident. Anyway, read, enjoy, and pretty please review, make me a happy person. I mean, c'mon, I could be out in the sun, instead of writing about Shinigami in the sun for you guys. And I really like reviews._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for that really weird turtle. And nobody even wants him, but I shall name him Frank all the same. **

_**Of Beaches, Ice-Cream, Mermaids and Turtles**_

The distinct moaning emitting from William's office kept most intelligent Reapers well away. Unfortunately, Ronald Knox not "most intelligent Reapers." Grell sat on his boss' lap, fingers entwined in William's dark hair, the other hand clutching his shirt. William had entrapped him in a heated kiss, his hand slyly slipping under the redhead's shirt. Neither of the two noticed Ronald's entrance until he was plonking himself down on William's desk.

"Hey, you two, have you seen the weather outside today?" The pair fixed the blonde with a look that clearly said they hadn't seen much of anything outside the office that day. Ronald, however, was entirely unperturbed. The younger Reaper was practically bouncing with excitement, wearing nothing but a pair of black and white swim shorts and Converse.

"Knox, is there a good reason for you to be half naked on my desk?"

"Yeah, because usually that's my job." William fixed Grell with a half-hearted glare, then turned back to Ronald, who had now produced a surfboard out of nowhere.

"C'mon you two, the sun's splitting the rocks out there, it's the perfect day for a trip to the beach. And don't you tell me you're working, because you ain't doing anything but each other," he announced.

"Absolutely not, Knox, the idea is completely absurd and I won't-"

"That sounds great Ronnie, what a fabulous idea! And I have just the thing to wear. I assume you've already asked the Undertaker?" Grell cut across, jumping off his lover's lap and looking just as excited as the younger Shinigami.

"Of course I did, Grell-senpai. He said he'd 'grab the picnic coffin'. I thought it best not to ask.. So, I'll see you two at the beach in a half hour, 'kay?"

* * *

><p>William T. Spears was not a happy Reaper. Not at all. Not only had his 'sexy-time' been interrupted, William was also one of those unfortunate people that could only burn in the sun, and they would only burn in the sun, no matter what factor sun-block they used. But he was going to try anyway, which is why when Ronald arrived at the beach, the first thing he saw was the elder Reaper furiously covering every inch of himself with sun-block as he sat in his black swim-shorts under the shade of a large umbrella.<p>

"Factor 100? Really? I didn't know you could even get one that high. Afraid of a little tan, Dracula?" Ronald could only laugh as William glared at him, the overall effect ruined by the blob of sun-block on his nose.

"I do not _tan_, Knox, I _burn_. I burn to an unattractive crisp. This was the worst idea _ever_," the grumpy Reaper snapped.

"And covering yourself in that gunk and hiding under an umbrella is going to help that?"

"It is _not_ an umbrella, Knox. It is a _parasol._" Ronald rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he sat down next to the Undertaker.

"Um.. Undertaker? What the hell is that?" he asked, his emerald eyes widening. The silver haired man sat on the towel, happily grinning at a small grey coffin covered in little skulls.

"Heheh, it's the magical picnic coffin, Mr. Knox. It will give us everything we need for the perfect picnic," the Undertaker giggled away to himself as he opened the little box. The little box that was distinctly empty.

"'Taker? There's nothing in it.."

"Well, of course not, Mr. Knox. How can it give you a perfect picnic, when perfection does not exist?" How on earth do you reply to that? To his credit, Ronald only remained gob-smacked for about half a minute before he stood to reach for his surfboard.

"Well then, seeing as you're such a stick in the sand, and you're clearly mental, I'm hitting the waves. Can't deprive the beautiful ladies of my sexine- Grell-senpai?" Ronald trailed off at the arrival of his red-haired friend, because really, there was no way to keep your train of thought once you saw _that_. Grell was running towards them in what was probably the worst Baywatch impression ever, wearing only his glasses and a bright, red bikini that left very little to the imagination. Not that Ronald was imagining it, of course. Nope, not at all.

Smack!

"Ronald Knox! Stop ogling my man- woma-.. Stop ogling my Grell, damn it, or I will have you demoted," William stated, calmly whacking the boy over the head with his death scythe, much to the Undertaker's amusement. Grumbling away to himself, Ronald trudged towards the ocean, rubbing the back of his head as he went. The Undertaker happily went back to his coffin. William, on the other hand, was having trouble taking his eyes off his approaching lover, trying his best to ignore his growing.. _problem_.

"Will, darling, isn't it lovely out? Why are you hiding under the umbrella?"

"_Parasol_, Sutcliff, it's a parasol," William sighed, his eyebrow twitching slightly.

"Ri-ight. So what do you think, hmm? Isn't this outfit just perfect? I've been dying to wear it for weeks, do you like it?" Grell asked, twirling in his new ensemble before throwing his arms around William's neck. The dark-haired Reaper tentatively placed his hands on his lover's feminine hips.

"Um, yes, I- I like it very much," he stumbled, his eyes never leaving his barely clad lover.

"Oh, I'm glad you think so, I picked it out specially for- .. Oh..," Grell trailed off as he pressed himself closer to William, realising _exactly _what the man thought of his outfit when he let out the lightest moan. "I guess you like it a little to much, eh?" he winked.

"Care for a dip, Sutcliff?"

* * *

><p>"Hey, 'Taker, where have the two lovebirds flown off to?" The ancient Reaper chuckled at his companion's poor joke, pulling the boy down to sit next to him.<p>

"Heheheh, Mr. Spears and Lady Grell have gone for the kind of swim you don't want to join," he giggled.

"Huh? ..Oh.. Oh, I see. So, um, I don't really need to think about that.."

"Cease your ramblings and fetch me that seashell!" the Undertaker suddenly screamed, successfully scaring the crap out of Ronald.

"What? Uh, okay, okay, here! What do you need this for?" Ronald asked warily, his heart still racing at the sudden outburst.

"Building sand coffins, of course! Every good coffin needs decoration," the silver Reaper replied, giving Ronald a look that clearly stated the man thought he was a bit dim.

"Oh, that's a good idea. Here, let me help."

* * *

><p>When Grell and William finally returned from their little underwater 'adventure', Ronald was happily sunbathing by himself.<p>

"You two having fun?" he asked, raising his prescription sunglasses from his eyes.

"All _kindsa_ fun, Knoxie boy. Right up until Will was bitten by a turtle," Grell replied with a giggle and a wink, much to William's chagrin. "Where's the Undertaker?"

"Wow, Spears-senpai, that's quite the achievement, even for you. Undertaker's busy playing Little Mermaid actually, ain't he just fabulous?" They hadn't thought that Ronald was being literal, but there was that unmistakable mane of silver hair and the Undertaker's grinning face accompanied by a body of sand, mermaid tail and all.

"It appears I now have breasts. This has been quite the intriguing adventure," the Undertaker sniggered, poking his sandy torso.

"And how beautiful they are, darling. Well done, Ronnie, you got the shape just right," Grell giggled, looping his arm through William's. "So, ice-cream, anyone?"

"Yeah, sure."

"It's not as if you'll take no for an answer."

"Do they have bone flavour?"

* * *

><p>As the sun set, the four Shinigami sat under the <em>parasol<em>, watching the sun drop beneath the waves as they ate their ice-creams.

"Hey, Will, you know why the sun sets red?" Grell asked casually as he licked his strawberry flavoured ice-cream cone.

"No, dear, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Light's made up of lotsa different colours. And out of all those colours, red is the one that travels the furthest."

"How fascinating, Sutcliff, really," William answered dryly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He could already feel the sting of his sun-burn, his lover could deal with a little venom for dragging him out there. Even if he was the cutest thing the dark-haired Reaper had ever seen. "You have ice-cream on your nose."

"Well, I guess you'd better clean it off then," Grell suggested seductively, and William thought it was the best idea he'd heard all day. No amount of sunburn was going to stop him from getting on top of his lover.

Ronald, oblivious as always to the sultry moans behind him, was eating his own ice-cream while holding the Undertaker's up to his mouth. Apparently, Reapers disguised as mermaids couldn't move anything below the neck, so holding his own ice-cream was out of the question.

"Heheh, all the feeling has left my body."

"Yeah, today sure was fun. We should do this more often, eh, 'Taker? We could come here every weekend, and I can teach you to surf or something."

"Sounds delightful, Mr. Knox, providing you supply me with laughs."

""Laughs a plenty, Undertaker. Laughs, bone flavoured ice-cream and a not-so-magical coffin."

"It's a date then, ahehehehe."

* * *

><p><em>Later that night…<em>

"Grell, I think they left without us.."

"Ugh, how rude! Leaving a lady and her man behind. Speaking of behinds, have I ever told you how lovely yours is?"

"You have, Sutcliff, many times. Now where did you put my shorts?"

"Oh, I think the turtle took them."

".. What?"

"That turtle that bit you earlier, he was here again. I think I'm gonna call him Frank. He took your shorts."

"You mean I have to go back naked? Are you serious?"

"You think you've got it bad, I have sand in places I never even knew existed."

**The End**


End file.
